you're a mystery yourself

Monday, May 31, 2010

12:20 AM

L is for the way you look at me

O is for the only one I see

V is very very extraordinary

E is even more than any one that you adore can

LOVE is all that I can give to you

LOVE is more than just a game for you

two in love can make it

take my heart but don't break it

love can make for me and you

&the beauty.

12:35 AM

Haoen.

Needs a miracle..

Needs your love..

its a lonely night..

quiet, cold and dark..

last day at my attachment...

less then 10 days...

10 days...

iloveyoulikethebeeslovehoney..

&the beauty.

12:25 PM

before i leave..

i love you...

i do..

&the beauty.

12:31 PM

it just came down on me..

a wound i cnt stop...

the remorse i feel..

the words that i said too late...

the lil haoen i always bring to my dreams...

the 3 words that i cant say to u anymore.

&the beauty.

3:46 PM

sometimes i wish..

all these is really just a dream..

please just wake me up and tell me its nt true..

that ur heart is still here with me my love..

every night just keep's getting harder and harder to fall asleep.

i know..

i am sorry friends..

u guys dont wanna see me get hurt..

but i just love her..

and i know i can have many wonderful memories with another girl..

but a girl like her.. to me..

its hard to come by and the things that we been thru..

i feel tat its so special..

so hard to let go..

i shouldnt say hard to let go..

its cant let go at all.

altho in the pass.. i m a stubborn freak..

i say things.. i dont mean it..

until now i really lose it.. i've grown mature.

nt more saying bout the effort i've put into her..

i find it a pity to let it go to waste..

and i still think.. both of us still deserve a second chance...

and we can still put in effort into this r/s..

Ppl reject us because they only see things in the outer part..

they donno the feeling between the both of us..
only me and u know fei...

and i belive u feel it too..

i hope its really nt 1 sided...

or it really is...

my mind... is seriously so confuse..

and tired..

i've been thinking..
of what u said..

i know u too well fei..
u asked me what if 1 day my feelings faded..
i will answer u this..

every r/s has to go thru this process..
why do ppl get married..
and have a family..
its nt just because of resposiblilty..
but the love they been thru.
and the proccess is still on till the day they r no longer on earth.
this is what makes a lasting r/s...

and this is one of the procces i m in right now..
alone..
waiting if fate or god is playing wif me..

and i've been thru the proccess of losing u..
and i know..
the pain inside me...
so unbearable..
it feels as if..
its taking my life away slowly..

what more can i say..
in order to make u return to my arms...

whr r u my baby..
baby.. i still love you..
come back to me please..

i've learnt my lesson..
belive in me..
belive in our love..

ur smile.. is the reason why i m smiling.
ur rain is the reason why i m sad.
ur love... is what makes me feel that i m alive.

forget the past..
let me hold ur hand and see the future tgt..

...

P.S.. I Love You

&the beauty.

1:13 AM

although it hurts..

its nth compared to the tears u shed for me..

i will carry this pain along the way at all times..

if one day i am gone..

please dont forget to smile..

thats what i wish for u..

the same old wish..

&the beauty.

11:25 AM

holding onto the phone saying that i love you.. when noone is on the line..

i love you..

wishing on every 11.11..
the same wish..

to see ur smile..

&the beauty.

6:37 PM

now i know.. the true meaning of this song..
..

i will still wait..

ur the girl.. i nver wanna miss..

wait till the day..

when ur back to my arms..

i love you..

the tears that u shed..

guess.. all was too late for me...

the past...

i wouldnt wanna c u cry agn..

be happy with him..

i will always love you..

&the beauty.

2:52 PM

i am sorry..
i know ur angry..
is thr still chance for me to say it to u?..

i am so sorry i let u down..
i knw by saying sorry wont change a thing.

is thr still a chance for me to prove to u..
i missed ur coffee..
i missed helping u bring stuffs to chinatown.
i missed ur cooking..
i missed u helping me so much..
i missed ur care.
i missed everyone..
i missed the little talks we had..
i missed u.
i missed sitting at the table with you..
i missed everything...

most importantly..

i missed..
u treated me like ur own son...

i am sorry.

the stubborn and immature haoen is gone.

&the beauty.

9:42 AM

how i hope time would just stop at that moment..

i love you like the bees love honey..

will we continue writing on..

the future is always uncertain..

ill be brave to go thru all odds with u..

if u still belive..

our love..

if u would just belive...

i love you..

故事里的起承转合有一些忘记
做了多少错误的选择
原来波折才暗示着该走的方向
指引你我来到这一刻

就算别人都说我们没什么出息

不可能会这样轻易放弃

cause you're my everything
and my 唯一.

i dont wanna waste another day without u.
a living body without a heart.

&the beauty.

5:17 PM

i feel terrible inside....
i am out of tears...
my eyes hurt...
feel as tho i m bleeding inside everywhr and everyday....
still trying to catch my breath...
i've forgotten how to breath...

even tho this is happening..
i am still trying my best to smile..

smile haoen..
please..
just smile....

&the beauty.

10:39 PM

11/05/2010..
it used to be our anniversary..

i decided.
to patch up wif u fei.
my feelins for u.. i can still garantee tat its still as strong as last time.

after 5 months...

i've decided to..

pick up the courage..

and contact her...

i guess i was too late.. she's in somebody's arms right now..

still hoping that she would come back like how she used to do last time.

wad else can i still do for her.. in order to get her trust..

trust...

a short word.. but its so hard to obtain.

how i wish she would return to my arms agn..

and this time.. i wouldn't ever let go.

what ever the ans may be..

i will still love u fei..

at least..

i have no regret's

i blame my stubborn- ness

my selfish - ness.

i blame the times when i said that i've would change..

but failed to do so..

i took things for granted..

but after all..

after this lesson..

i learnt to treasure..

when we lost smth then we knw how to treasure.

but is it still early for us..?

can i still say this to u.

(i wanna work hard agn to live up to ur standard)

rmb.?

today..
ive gt her flower's..
like how i used to give her last time..
i didnt have a photo of it :(.

it feels like its the most beautiful of them all tat i had ever gave u..
just like you..
i still rmb u liked poker dots.. i specially picked them..

makes me feel tat our future is assured.. and beautiful..
and i m so confident in it..
..

walking home wif u..
it feels just like ..
last time...
i've been thinking
can i still walk thru this same place with u agn..
or is this kiss goodbye..

wadever the ans maybe..
ill always be thr for u..
even ill have to wait..
ill still wait..

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

这是不是命运
对我的惩罚
爱你也没办法
恨你也没办法
陷在这个漩涡
只想挣脱它
拉住你的手
却让我也被拖下 .
你的眉眼说
你不渴望我拥抱
每当爱变成了煎熬
你就开始要逃.
你爱我还是他
是不是我可以做他的好你不再挣扎 ,
爱我还是他
我宁愿听到残忍的回答也不要再被耍
你爱我还是他
我为你找了一百个理由我就是那么傻 .

Please keep the book well..
and stay happy always.

&the beauty.

1:25 PM

It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
'Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

I just wanna be with you
'Cause living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
'Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

Baby can you feel it coming
You know I can hear it kills all souls
Baby can you feel me feel you....

You know it's time....

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love

You know
Maybe it's time for miracles
'Cause I ain't giving up on love

No I ain't giving up love
I aint giving up no
no I ain't giving up on us

&the beauty.

10:26 PM

i really need a miracle now..

is it still early?

&the beauty.

1:54 PM

the moment i saw what was in the phone..
i was deeply disppointed...
makes me feel that the whole r/s.. was so fake..
how would i know when u are doing things behind my back..
suddenly i had lost so much trust in u..

to me..

the more i love you..
when u did something wrong to me..
i couldn't bear to take the pain...
so right now..
u can realise.. how much..
i love you..
and perhabs i was wrong...
i didnt gave u the security that u wanted.
but i swear to myself
i had nver ever...
did anything behind u...
sometimes i wish i would get drunk..

so do hate me or anything..
because sometimes i still wish... u were to explain ur feelins for doing these and nt the reasons..
i have chosen to let go...
but the real haoen u know...
dosent let go so easily..
i m still me..

even how much u cried in the phone..
or begged me back..
i still couldn't stand the pain...
the feeling is like being executed..

if u were to think of the times....
the times...
Nus.. n many many more..

u can know...
right now...
this haoen...
can he still able to do that agn?.

(proof to me how much u love me)
which i had proven it so many times.
i still haven forgotten a single thing..
its still so close in my heart..
05/01 was the proof i gaved...
i was ur everything...
and u were my everything...
if u ever think what happened behind...
on why i said u were my everything...

perhaps..

ur nt even reading this..
i m jus plainly...
being dumb.

yes friend..
i know i m stupid..
i know u guys hate me when i was with her..
maybe i wasnt a good friend..

&the beauty.

1:05 AM

work and work..

now i m sick.. hai...

sick of.

&the beauty.

3:25 AM

just got back from a last min club from my friends!

haha
its friday night
n a boring nite~!

the club wasnt fun enough for me..
met my friend ziling!!
n her friends!
see her damn dancing damn high!

oooohhh ohhh oooohhh!
hahahaha..! :)

clubbing today wont be so boring today !~
hahahahaha!

well look forward to club with u more man!
thanks for sending me home bro! ^^

i am so proud to annouce the next girl tat seriously pisses me off.
and full of bullshit...
full of lies...
Bitchiest
Vivian Melisa Boudville..
so what?
i dare to say out ur name...
at least i dont hide behind n dont say the person's name..
trust me...
when i dislike someone.. its the end for u...
n trust me... time will show u...
how well this r/s goes ^^...
read between the lines.. l F l U l C l K l O l F l F l ..

&the beauty.